Reunited and it feels so good!

So... many of you saw that picture and did a SAY WHAT? How did that happen? I thought Corie and Jesus were done and done. So i figured I better make a blog for the subject. less awkward conversations :)

Well... I guess I should probably start back a few months ago. When Jesus and I were dating the first time everything seemed to be going perfectly, but I wasn't exactly feeling 100% truly happy and I wasn't sure why. I would find myself reciting a line from my patriarchal blessing (click here if you don't know what that is) that says "There will come into your life a worthy young man, be worthy yourself to go to the temple and receive those blessings..." I felt like I had found that person, but I wasn't feeling worthy and wasn't sure why. I hadn't done anything crazy bad that I needed to clear up I just wasn't feeling right and among other things i found myself thinking a lot about someone i dated before and after my mission. We had talked about getting married before but I had received a No answer many times, but was still hopeful that something might come of it one day (maybe after graduation). We always left that possibility like a revolving door always reopening up.

So I decided to go on a dating strike. I had to figure out why things weren't working out how I thought they should be.

The week after we broke up I was sitting in my Spanish class and someone came in and talked about a study abroad to Spain. I listened and something about that felt so right. A study abroad is something I've always wanted to do, but never had taken the opportunity. I figured since i wasn't taking classes in the summer and I wasn't doing anything else I should just go to Spain. I would probably never get that opportunity ever again! So I signed up and am super excited about going to Spain for 5 weeks this summer!

Christmas rolls around and that boy that I was having a hard time getting over came home for Christmas. So we hung out a few times. We had fun, like we always did, but I think during that time I realized that we had both changed and that he wasn't the one I could see myself with. I realized that We both just needed to move on with our lives and close that door. A few weeks ago he shared with me how he was thinking about getting married to an incredible girl, but he felt unsure. We talked and I hope I helped him realize that we both needed to move on and that he shouldn't let her go.

After that was over with I started having the impression to try to talk to Jesus again, but I wasn't sure what to do with that impression. While praying I told Heavenly Father that if it was right that he would just be put back in my path. I didn't want to do the work if it wasn't right. So... I didn't really tell anyone about this impression.I didn't want to tell my mom because i figured she'd give me the "I told you so" answer. I found it to be super interesting however, that Jesus' little sister, a few weeks ago started writing me cute messages on facebook just asking how I was doing. I hadn't talked to her in a while, but she started writing me almost everyday just with a short hi, how are you? I love you. I thought that was sweet, and wondered why she started talking to me all of a sudden. I did talk to a cousin and we both thought that maybe a blessing from the bishop would be what I needed and that I would try and see him on Sunday.

That very Sunday someone texted me saying the bishop wanted to see me. I was like um WOW! and was like yes please! would love to. I didn't end up getting that blessing, but we did talk and a lot of things were put into perspective as i realized that I've grown and learned a lot these last few months. And i know that I'm in this exact place right now for a specific reason. and all these things I realized I needed to do by myself.

Tuesday (like 4 days ago) I was thinking about texting Andres (Jesus' best friend) and just sharing with him my perspective, but decided not to. but that very night he texted me asking if we could talk. I was like ohhh wow! I was thinking about talking to you. but we talked for a while and then he told me had the impression for the last few weeks and finally decided asked if I had been feeling like I wanted to try again with Jesus, I was like wow! umm. I have actually. He was like alright! well do you want to talk to him? I was like uhhh! NO! i need time to think and... breathe. and think.

So i ended up calling Jesus, so good to talk to him. I asked if i could see him on Friday afternoon to which he said that he was already coming down to see some of his mission friends.

I hung up the phone and was excited for Friday. However, I was so nervous. I couldn't sleep and I couldn't eat normally those 2 days. I was a mess.

Friday came and Jesus came over and we had a really good talk. I told him everything that I just wrote. I know that I'm in a much better place than I was a few months ago. I'm ready this time to give him my 100% heart and mind. I'm grateful for Jesus and his example and goodness and his willingness to try again.
So we're trying again. hoping for the best and living with Faith very excited for the future.